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I am starting my third battle with cancer and I would like if you travel with me ...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Shattered Dreams


Have you ever had a dream that would never come true?  Not the kind that you have when you go to sleep but the kind that you have as you grow up?  Did you have a dream that did come true?

We were hoping to get together with some friends while in Dallas but at the last minute her daughter called her with a problem ‘Her long life dream was just shattered’.  As a Mom I understand my friends pain, my Michelle too had shattered dreams and when possible all I could do was hug her.  After a few years, Michelle realized that her shattered dreams was the best that could have happened to her, especially as she sang ‘God Bless the Broken Road that lead me straight to you’ as she walked down the aisle to marry Kevin.

I too remember my shattered dreams, one in particular which I will share in hopes that it helps all the teenagers and young adults out there with broken dreams.

I come from a family of 7 girls; I am in the middle (number 4).  My sisters are all unique and similar in many ways and they are very smart, their goal was to go to college, I on the other hand wanted to grow up, get married and have kids. When I was seventeen I met a wonderful boy, he loved me and took good care of me.  It did not take long before his family treated me like one of their own.  We were always together, always.  A couple of years later I found out that I had endometriosis and that there was a very good probability of never having children of my own.  Believe me when I tell you that I thought my life ended.  How could this be?  I became a very negative person, nothing made me happy, nothing was good; I even started getting jealous every time he would talk or dance with another girl, the echo in my head said ‘she can give him kids and I can’t’.  You can imagine that it was not too long after my personality change that my friend decided to break off the relationship.  Now I really thought I was going to die.  Life as I knew it was not worth living for…  Oh my, even writing this after so many years gives me the chills.

God had given me good friends, true angels on earth who constantly called and picked me up to get out.  Honestly, it took over a year before accepting my situation and going out on dates.

To make this short story endless as Wish would say, I ended up in Oklahoma.  Met Pat, went through an experimental treatment for endometriosis, got married and have two of the most amazing kids… and now a granddaughter.

Yesterday was our 30th wedding anniversary and looking back, I thank God for my shattered dreams, for the broken road.  Now this is not to say that when it is your problem and you are in the midst of it, this message means nothing, but if you could for one moment STOP, BREATH, and KNOW that you are special and that this experience will lead you to a better outcome.

Remember as I wrote once before,
if it is really how you want to feel ‘like miserable’ than give yourself 5 minutes and be done because as much as I love you, feeling miserable is not the way to be, take my word for it.
And
My Dad use to say, “There are two types of problems, the ones that you can fix so go do it and the ones that are out-of-your-control so learn to live with them”

Lord, grant my friend, her daughter and all the people who have shattered dreams a moment of peace, and another and another until this dream fades away and it is replaced with a much better dream.

Love y’all,
ME


2 comments:

  1. Belated Happy 30th Anniversary Luisa and Pat, hope it was as special as you two. I love your wisdom Luisa, we all need it! love, jacki

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  2. Wow! Just saw this post. Not sure how I missed it, but I did. I am touched. Btw, just got back from seeing her and she is doing well. She never ceases to amaze me. She teaches me life lessons, rather than the other way around. I loved your message. I will certainly share it with her.
    Hope you and Pat had a nice anniversary. Congratulations! 30 years is quite an accomplishment. Need to figure out when we can visit. Miss and love you! Hope you are doing well. XO

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