Did you know Betty?

If you didn’t meet her you missed out as she was one of the most amazing, unique, entertaining, awesome, happy…   I can go on and on.

Betty was my mother and the mother of my 6 other sisters plus the grandmother of 9 grandchildren and the great grandmother of Maggie the Great.
She had an amazing life, so for her services I wrote the following poem:

MOM

What an incredible mixed of emotions

Sad to see you go
Glad that you got there
Are you Happy Mom?

You lived life to the fullest

You laughed hard at it all
You loved us more than life
What a woman, you were wise

Mom you were awesome

To have had three lives on earth
Who else can claim such victory
But you…. who did it all

As a child you were mischievous  

You were poor and didn’t even know it
You were happy, you were fun
You just wanted to play under the sun 

As a mother you were great

Seven daughters, what can I say
You weren’t the kissing and hugging kind
You were the proud and LOVING one

As a widow, that was hard

You missed Daddy and it was tough
But you lived through it with us,
With a smile and party time

So now is time to say goodbye

Boy it hurts, I’ll miss you lots
You were awesome you were great
You will always be the best

Yesterday we celebrated her life, we have actually been celebrating her life since the night she died and will probably continue to celebrate for a very long time.

We will miss you…   Love you forever.

ME

PS. My test at MDAnderson shows that I am responding to treatment, although the cancer did not shrink, it did not grow either.  So for now, I will continue with the treatment and pray.

A New Day

So here we are and it is a new day, duh each day is a new day, as you can tell by my tone that I am feeling a lot better.  I am still sleeping a lot and my skin is a mess and a few things here and there but for the most part I am ready to continue the fight. Thanks to Randy who was here giving me energy and pocking and whatever he does to have my pains go away or to the side. 

To pick up where we left off –

My liver enzymes were better so I resumed treatment at a lesser dosage. This week I go back to Houston for standard testing plus the CT scan that will tell if the trial is working for me.  I pray that it is as I am running out of options, although they said last time that they have a plan B.

The court hearing for Michael went well but of course no answers or light when this will all be over but for now he has a meeting with probation on Feb. 21^st and next court hearing is March 16^th.

And my Mom, she is doing better today, one day better at a time is all we can ask… although I would love for her to get her sense of humor back…  I miss that.

Attitude will make you or brake you.  I have told my children for ever that a good attitude, a smile, dressing up and looking pretty or smelling good makes you feel good, and when you feel good you attracted happy people.  When you are down, the best remedy is to surround yourself with happy people, I know I know you don’t feel like it but that is because you are down so force yourself to ‘exercise’ and then go out and find happy people. Remember ‘Attitude’, something that you can control…  NICE

Wishing you, my family and I a Happy New Day,

ME

Accident

Can you remember 26? I can because that was the year that I was in loved.  I had found the man of my dreams which I married.  Life was good.

Well today my son Michael turns 26 and he can’t even plan what he will be doing this weekend, it is very sad.  As you all may know, he was in a car accident where his dear friend Mai died.  They had been out to comedy night and celebrating that Mai was leaving for Japan in just a couple of days.  That was Michael’s dream at the time, graduate with a Japanese degree and go to Japan to teach English. He had only one semester left, four classes.

This happened over 18 months ago and his fate is still in the hands of the California judicial system.  You see, in California they do not use the word accident so they have to make sure that he is guilty of something, and while they try to sort this out his life is on hold.  Some people would say, so what, Mai’s life stopped and that is true and it is also true that we can’t change that, that there is nothing that Michael can possibly do to bring back Mai.  We lost a life but does it make sense that the punishment be to destroy another life?   For how long?  How many more lives have to suffer?  I can tell you that Michael has as well as me, his father and sister and really all our family.

So here is what is even more painful, I have terminal cancer and my only wish left is to see my son free.  At one time I thought that I wanted to go to the beach for 3 months, I also hoped to go to Venezuela once more and see my old classmates and friends but none of that matter until this is resolved.

I would love nothing more than for the judicial system to accept that this was an accident and let my son go.

For now, I pray, we pray.  Today I say Happy Birthday son, my birthday wish for you is that this year is better.  And ask for you to pray or think positive thoughts for this Friday, January 13^th when Michael goes to court once again to request the reduction of the charges, just one step closer to ending this nightmare.

Thanks you,

ME

THIS TREATMENT IS KICKING MY BUTT

THIS TREATMENT IS KICKING MY BUTT

So I have not written in a while and I apologize but this treatment is kicking my butt.  And there is a lot going on around here.

My mother, who was diagnosed with lung cancer around October, came down with pneumonia right before Christmas and spent a few days in the hospital.  The main cause is the location of the tumor.  Crazy right?  She has one little tumor and it is located in the airwave to the middle lobe of the right lung.  So my dear mother who is usually strong in personality, who was doing aerobics 3 times a week at the senior citizen center, my Mom who loves a party and a get together is now seating on her chair, with oxygen, unable to care for herself…  crazy right?  And it all happened so fast, cancer really sucks.

I was moving right along with the cancer trial treatment when my face erupted in hives, not the ones that itch but the ones that burn, within two days my face looked like I had stuck it in an ant hill and it really hurt.  Now I have them all over my body and some itch and some hurt, I have one cream for the ones that hurt and one cream for the ones that itch and of course there is always Benadryl.  If this was the only problem I would suck it up but no, my cough which never really went away is back up to full swing so there is cough, cough, breath, cough, cough… again not the only two problems, when I went for my last checkup the blood test showed that my liver enzymes were five times higher than normal so they to pulled me off the trial for one week and then I will have a retest, if all goes well then I will restart the trial but with a lesser dosage.  In the meantime, I sleep, yup that is all I do all day because I do not have energy to do anything else.  I might get a load of laundry here and there but not more than one small chore a day.  And then of course there is also that visit to the emergency room because my temperature was 101.5.  Bottom line, I am falling apart and I do not have the energy to stop it from happening.  God better pull a good one while I still have pieces of myself to pick up and make better.

Please know that I am not giving up although at times I feel like I should, but that it is important for you to know that with cancer, there are weaker moments that really suck and although many of you view me as this very strong person, I am not.  What keeps me going is my family, wanting for Michael’s ordeal to be over with a positive outcome, and all the friends that are counting on me.

On a side note, I wanted to tell you that because we pray and ask God for things is not a guarantee that we will get them.  It also does not mean that he is not listening, sometimes the answer is NO.  Right before Christmas I went to Michelle’s church to listen to a special guest speaker named Alan Vincent (fascinating man), during the ceremony the pastor’s wife asked if she could pray over me and I said yes.  It was a loving prayer and it gave me a sense of comfort.  After the ceremony, Michelle and I along with the pastor’s wife and several other church members approached Alan and ask that he and his wife Eileen pray for me and they did, again I had a feeling of peace.  A few days later, I received a prayer cloth that I was to wear by my adrenal gland for three days.  I truly believed in my heart that I would get another miracle, that this would clear me of cancer.  Sadly it did not but I do not believe that the answer from God is NO; I think that the answer is ‘LATER’.

So with that I say goodbye today and will write again LATER, and don’t forget to exercise like David Haas wrote in the previous post.

Love y’all,

ME

The Benefits of Fitness when dealing with Cancer

The Benefits of Fitness When Dealing with Cancer

Written by David Haas

Dealing with cancer can be an overwhelming task. Aside from the physical aspects of treatment and surgeries, it can also be emotionally and mentally exhausting. Frustration, depression and exhaustion build up over time, making it difficult to keep happy and positive around friends and family. Exercise is one of the key ways that cancer sufferers can deal with the influx of emotions that such a devastating disease brings about. Here are just a few of the benefits that exercise throughout the various stages of diagnosis, treatment and remission:

Improved Mood: Many men and women report having what can best be described as a "cloud" hanging over them after receiving a cancer diagnosis from their doctor. This might persist well into treatment. A proven way to lift the spirit is through physical activity. The endorphins released after a tough workout will make anyone happier, and can help to improve the mood and perhaps even bring a smile to someone's face.

A Sense of Control: Having cancer means for many people an increased reliance on others. You might need you spouse to care for you, your parents to drive you to and from countless appointments, or your friends to bring you meals and check in one you. Over time this can make someone feel less then capable. By incorporating exercise into the daily routine, a patient is able to have a sense of control about their situation. Even a short walk around the neighborhood can make someone feel as if they are in charge of their own life.

Improved Self-Esteem: Both cancer and the various treatments for illnesses like lymphoma, mesothelioma and ovarian cancer, among others, can be devastating to the interior and the exterior of the body. Surgery might leave scars, and lack of exercise or appetite might leave a once strong body weak or overweight. Exercise results in more lean muscle mass, and helps the body to look and feel better. By including even a short amount of moderate exercise into the day, a cancer patient will be able to have improved self esteem when they look in the mirror.

Can Control Nausea: One of the most dreaded side effects of cancer treatment is the nausea that accompanies chemotherapy and radiation. Exercise can reduce those effects, bringing a higher quality of life to patients.

By including exercise in the daily routine of a cancer patient, they can reap major benefits and feel better about themselves as well as their chances for recovery.