The face of Cancer

Well, I guess that no one wants to be told that they talk too much…  I got little responses, no matter, at least you read it and now you can do with it whatever makes you happy.

Today I want to tell you about what people with cancer look like, which of course the right answer is ‘it depends’.

If the person is going through chemo or radiation and their cancer is advance you probably would not see them unless you are close to the person.  When cancer has consumed you and you add the toxins provided by the treatment then you will definitely not even recognize the person except for their eyes.  Their eyes will always tell you ‘I am here and I love you’.  For these people we pray that their pain goes away.

There are some who have not been consumed by cancer but the treatment of chemo or radiation is making them so sick that you would think they too have an ‘expiration date’.  The more I learn about cancer and various treatments the more I believe that each person has the right to do what is best for them, even if it isn’t the best answer.  There are tons of people who have been treated with chemo and radiation who are alive or lived for many years, so I am not saying it does not work; it just does not work for everybody.

There are some that are going through treatment like me and you can’t tell that I am sick unless you come to my house during the 10+ days from chemo.  But all in all, chemo does not affect me in a real bad way.  Radiation is another story as I believe that radiation is what made my tumors spread but again that is a story for another day.

There are those who have cancer (like my mother) who will not undergo any treatment and look great.  My mother even laughs when she answers ‘I’m fine, I just have cancer but I am fine’.

Finally there are those who choose alternative and unfortunately I have not come across any of these people so I can’t say too much.  But do hope that they look and feel great as my hope is to only do alternative when the time is right.

The reason that I am writing this, is for you to know that sometimes you run across a person in the grocery store, or the mall or just out and about that looks like something does not fit, so before you go laughing or judging, stop and think what that person might be going through and say a quick prayer.

The other day I had to go to Target so I put my mask on as it was within my 10 days from chemo and I was already coming down with a cold.  I wanted to go in and out but as I went down the aisle, the lady in front of me stopped to chat with a lady coming from the other direction.  I waited for 10 seconds and said ‘excuse me’, as one of them started to barely move the other mouthed off ‘you have a problem with people talking?’… Well, my response was calculated and said ‘No, I actually love talking, but usually I enjoy it when the person that I am talking with is considerate of others.  My friends are usually not this rude’ and again as I moved away, one laughed and said ‘what is up with that mask, does she think she is a superhero?’  And once again I turned and said, ‘No, I have cancer and can’t afford to catch your germs.  Would you like to trade places?’  It was at this time that the look in her face was, open earth and swallow me.

So, be considerate of others as you do not know what they are going through.

Love y’all,

ME

Do you talk too much?

Are you sure?  Well, I bet you do.  Do you know how annoying it is to be at a gathering and have someone not shut up?  It bothers me and reminds me that I do not want to be like that person.  Then before I know it, I find myself talking away.  We need to be more kind to others and ourselves and take turns, my goodness.

Honestly, the worst part is that most of the time the people that do not shut up, all they do is talk about themselves or things no one cares about.  And you know why I think it is so annoying? because it takes away our chance to talk about ourselves and our silly stories.

Even worst are those that interrupt you… just when you finally got a chance to say something, they interrupt because their version is better than yours or whatEver….

When my friend Connie was here, this worked out pretty good because she was here for over a week, so in the beginning either her or I would take the center stage on a story or a subject… boring or not, we let each other talk and by the time she left we had covered almost everything imaginable, including solving other people’s problems. 

But when you only see someone for a cocktail, a dinner or a party, there isn’t enough time for center stage… and why does it have to be I, me, my… 

One thing I am starting to exercise is to use a third person even if it was me.  For example, ‘there was an article in the paper the other day that said that bla bla bla’.  There was no article and it was my opinion but it is better received when is not all about what I think or say.  Don’t you think?

So now, do you talk too much?  Do you annoy people with your conversation?  Some people are naturally boring and others naturally entertaining.  When I tell a story or describe an event I try to make it exciting even when it isn’t.  Do you consider your life exciting?  To get to where we are, we all had adventures along the way.  So paint me a pretty picture, make it colorful and ‘tada’, you have my attention.

Anyway I am not sure why I felt the need to write about this as it has nothing to do with cancer, or the weekend but in a show last night the one guy wouldn’t shut up and then this message came to my head.

So in summary, don’t take the center stage for the whole evening, don’t just talk about yourself, make any topic colorful… or you will watch people walking away from you.  Get the message?

Love y’all,

ME

Wish list?

Or check list, or Bucket list, or things I want to do before????  It does not matter what you call it but they are pretty popular now.  I remember as a child like around 12 years old, all I wanted was to someday get married and have children.  It was that simple, I am sure that on a daily basis I had different wishes, like maybe having a friend visit, or maybe just not have homework but I remember the wanting to get married.

That I did and did well and also had children and did great, then what…  Again on a daily basis you wish for your family to have good health, for a good day, or a promotion or more money but those are not the same as the BIG wishes.

Unfortunately, the big ones come and go as life moves on and most of the times we do not do anything about it.  Now going back to an old post, if you can make it happen, then make your dream come true sooner rather than later, but if you can’t control it, then stay wishing!!!!!

Ummm, nope, I have a problem with that.  The best thing you can do is let your love ones know…

Ha, ha, ha

So when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, my sister Ligia asked if I had a wish list of things to do before I died, not that she or I believed I would die any time soon; in either case I said I would love to go to Vegas and see a show some day and maybe go to a nice place to eat and drink and walk the strip…  Well, this past weekend, my dear sister took me to Vegas and we did all of that and more.  I even did IN-N-OUT burger.  Thanks Ligia for making it happen, thanks Paul Z for the Le Reve tickets, thanks Paul (Ligia’s old boss) for the IN-N-OUT burger and Chandelier drinks at the Cosmopolitan, thanks Thor and Megna+husband (Ligia’s current boss and co-worker) for Dinner.  You all made it possible for me to ‘check’ that line on the wish list…  Now what?

Okay, to be honest, here is where it gets tricky as I no longer have items that I can make happen in my wish list and it will take for the most part, an act of God for them to come true. 

I would love for my son to be free and become a productive member or society

I would love for Maggie’s Corpus Callosum to appear and for her grow up to be a beautiful healthy girl

I would love for cancer to leave my family alone

I would love someday to go back to Venezuela and see my friends (all of them)

I would love to either go visit or be visited by friends every month

I would love to be loved so much by so many 

You are reading this and saying, gosh, this is not possible and you can’t help me, but that is why I said two things above ‘let your love ones know your wishes’ and ‘Act of God’ so please let us all repeat my wishes together every day you can, every time you can and they will come true as the power is in the numbers…  Or you can even sing it if you can find a tune… as it is written in this one little book ‘Mat 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.’

Thanks and Love y’all,

ME

Naive

What I did as a much younger person most likely caused where I am today.  This message is mostly for the younger generation, so please share it with your children, grandchildren, and/or anyone who would listen, maybe even your students at school.

This could happen to you, hopefully not but it could.  I know that you are probably saying to yourself ‘nah’, well I did too and look where I am.

I will start with smoking, granted that they say that my cancer is mostly found on non-smokers but my own second hand smoke didn’t help so here you have it…  I started smoking at 13 years old, got pretty heavy from my mid-twenties to early thirties and then I stopped for a couple of years.  When I restarted, I would smoke 5 to 7 cigarettes a day and up to 10 if I went out drinking.

So now drinking, I was not a big drinker until I got to my mid-twenties and even then, I did not drink that much.  But by my mid to late thirties, I would have two to three rum and Pepsi every night, again… more if I went out.  Double whammy, the alcohol was killing my good cells one by one and my cancer cells were feeding and slowly growing with the sugar from the Pepsi and the rum.

So what made me drink more?  Well stress of course.  I had a very stressful job and as the years passed and promotions came, the job demand increased and so did the stress, which of course made my cancer cells go yippy!!!

So what is next, oh yes… eating, since my mid-thirties till my early fifties, I did not eat breakfast or lunch, get this, I had 3.2 pounds of peanut M&M’s a week…  you know the bag at Costco that has XXL, well that one, every week.  Can you hear the cancer cells?  Well I didn’t then but do now.

And finally exercise, I was a size 2 most of my twenties until about my mid-thirties, I was a size 4 from then until my early fifties and then started venturing into some size 6.  Basically, I was and for the most part still am small so in my wonderful wisdom (NOT) I felt that there was no reason to exercise. 

Why am I telling you all this, oh yes, in hopes that you do not make the same mistakes, any or all of them, as you can see I made 5 deadly mistakes.  And believe me when I tell you, I did not listen and do not know what to do or say to make you listen but hope that you do because as you know I have been fighting cancer for over 2 years and now I am fighting for my life.

In conclusion:

If you smoke, stop… honestly, smoking stinks and no one wants to stand next to someone that just smoked.

If you drink, okay so maybe one here or there and please do not drink and drive, even if you think you can.

Stress is a hard one but I read once of a man who when he got home from work would put a nail in a piece of wood by the garage.  The nail represented his work issues and then he would walk in the door without taking work with him and giving him the opportunity to unwind and enjoy the family.  Someone told me once to wind up work in the morning on the way to work and in the evening unwind work and wind up the children like remember to ask how was school or soccer practice and this way you would not carry the stress from work.  I tried it but my children at times gave me more stress then work… so you know how that ended up, let’s have another drink.

If you have bad eating habits and eat junk, it is time to change that too.  Just go back to the basic food groups, meats, cheese, milk, bread, eggs, fruit and veggies and all in moderation.

Finally, exercise… you do not have to go to a gym, you can do your legs and arms from home, jog on the spot or use the WII but spend 20 minutes a day.  YES, every day.

Please know that this message has kept me up for the past few days and that is why you are getting such a long message.  And if you are still thinking that this could not happen to you, let me add that Cancer does not run in my family.  My grandfather and mother were both diagnosed with cancer when they were over their 80’s and both were smokers at one time or another.  The women in my family live way into their 80’s from both sides, mother and father except my godmother who was a heavy smoker and died of emphysema.  What I am saying is that my situation is not genetic.  Environmental, maybe but my sisters are okay and Pat is okay, so which environment.

Just accept as I have that there are things that you can control and that there are consequences to every action and in this case the consequence for me is breast cancer, lung cancer, and lung cancer metastasize and spread.

Love y’all,

ME

E-mails with no attachments

Hi there, how is everyone today?  I wouldn’t know as very few of you sent me information on ‘All about you’ so I hope everyone is doing well on this fine Monday.

Today I got and e-mail with a message that I like ‘God's Love Is Not Dependent On E-Mail!! ’ .  The main reason why I like this is because I am superstitious, don’t want to admit it but I am, so when I get those THREATENING e-mails saying send this now or else…  I delete them before reading the ‘or else’ in hopes that the punishment will not hit me if I do not know what it is.

Honestly, at the beginning of my ‘cancer adventure’ with all the following nasty events, I thought for a moment that one of those e-mails got me.  Fortunately for me, I love God, prayer, Michael the Archangel and positive thoughts more than superstition and know that it is not possible but come on, do you really forward those e-mails?  Please take me of your mailing list.

When I see one with a message that I like, I delete the part of ‘send this to X number’ and ‘in so many minutes’… even if the outcome is ‘you will have a miracle in X days’.  Can you do that?

This way we will truly feel free to send messages that are inspiring to those that we think might enjoy reading them.

Once again today’s message is not related to cancer cure, or treatments but if you are like me, with a small doubt or superstition then it is related to Expiration Date?  NOT YET.

Love y’all,

ME

PS. And for picture, I am putting Maggie with the new Uggs that I made her… how about that?

All About YOU

There is a time when life is all about ME, my cancer, my son, my granddaughter, my mom… it is not healthy to stay in this circle for too long as it will not allow me to see others.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a huge list of people that I pray for and think about every day but once that one hour is gone, so are my thoughts of others.

That is why I want to tell you that it is good to make time for others so I am making this all about YOU…  Yes YOU.

As a faithful follower and reader of my blog you are now the center of my attention, tell me how you are doing?  Are you happy with life?  Do you need to change it?  Talk to me?  You know that talking about you helps you sort out your life and figure out your next steps!!!!

This past two weeks I had a wonderful friend come to visit and our conversations went back and forth on all about ME and all about HER and at the end of the two weeks it was all about Maggie, the dogs, the weather, my family…

Do you realize how boring a conversation is when the person talking is only about them?  All the time.  That is why our visit was so pleasant because we went back and forth until there was nothing else to say about ourselves… then we gossiped about you…  No, not really.  But we were able to have productive conversations because we had our life sorted out, at least our next steps and that was a good feeling.

So here I am giving you the opportunity to tell me about yourself, for two reasons, one because I care about you and two because that way it is out of your system and when you meet the next person, you will not be so boring.

Hope to hear from you and have a nice day

Love,

ME

BOOMER SOONER

Today is a happy day because I say so.  I am happy today and will not let anything make it any different.  So, if you have something to say that is not happy then ‘don’t tell me’.  Actually don’t even tell yourself so that you can enjoy my happiness.  Why spoil a good day.

Today everyone will be smiling, and NO there is no particular reason, just got up this way.

I looked at the sky this morning and smiled… Then I got into facebook and saw Maggie’s new picture and smiled.  Then I read Michael’s post for the day (last night’s post) and smiled.

So when I went to the farmers market all excited to get fresh organic fruit and it was closed… (dmm, dmmm, dmmm)…  I still smiled because I refuse to be nothing but happy today.

So do yourself a favor and join me in my excitement, smile at anything and everything you do or see today and feel good about life.

PS.  I am saying all this as my dear sweet husband is blabbing disgusting words out there for some odd reason…  I will ignore him.

Love y’all, have a great weekend and GO BOOMER SOONER

ME