What kind of friend are you?

There are friends that you talk to every day, some once a week and some once a year if any.  Long distance friendship is hard to keep so as time goes by you hear from less and less friends.  Add to that the fact that you are sick or have fallen on bad times, you will hear even less from friends.

When you call a friend, most of the time you truly want to know how they are doing, but after 10 minutes of hearing how bad life is, how they hurt here, how there is no money, or whatever problem and you say to yourself ‘Yish now that was a depressing call?’ and then you tend to call this person less often.  I use to do that until it was me.  When people call me now, I always say that I am doing great.  I talk as little as possible about me unless they insist then they get the full story.  Most of the time, I want to hear about them because it has to be better than my story and I love good stories.

A friend who fell on difficult times said, ‘I do not know what I did to my friends but no one calls me any more’.  She did nothing but these days are hard for everyone, so her friends either are having a hard time and don’t want to talk about it, or don’t want to hear about her problems any more…as simple as that.  But do they love her? 

Do my long lost friends love me?  Absolutely and I treasure each and every one of my friends.  Here is what I think: You don’t call a friend for a while because of many reasons then one day you would love to talk to them but don’t know what to say, so you leave it for tomorrow and then the next day and then a year has gone by.  Oh my, now what to say? and you feel like s h it.  In this modern age the answer is simple, send a text or an e-mail (or comment on their blog-hint) and once you get a response you can restart the communication.  What if you are on the other end?  If you are the one not getting the calls, then pick up the phone and dial or send a text.

Trust me when I say this, TRUE FRIENDS ARE FOR LIFE and remember I grew up in Venezuela so I depend on technology to maintain contact with all my friends.  I am in touch with my best friend since I was 2 years old, my best friend growing up in the neighborhood, my best friend from high school, my best friend from college, my best friend after college, my first and best friend when I got to the United States, even my first boyfriend when I was about 13.

So today and now, call a friend or send a message and tomorrow pick a different friend and the next day and before you know it, you will be blessed like I am with friends all around you. 

Make yourself and someone else happy today which will in turn make me happy…can you hear that cancer cell dying?  I can.

Love y’all

ME

Dying from cancer

This year alone I know of five people who have died of cancer.  I also know a few that might not make it to the end of the year.  Of course I am in tune with cancer death because of my condition but my guess is that the message today is the same if you have heart problems or diabetes or other immune diseases that debilitates a person until death.  A pet peeve I have is when you are first diagnosed and people say ‘Oh I know so and so and they lived 20 years’ or ‘I know so and so…’ let me tell, we don’t care who you know or what you know because today and now ‘I have cancer’.  This also applies to friends and families, when my friend’s mother was diagnosed; she (the daughter) was very upset and she didn’t care who else had it ‘her mom had cancer’.  So next time you meet someone who has been diagnosed with cancer or a family member was diagnosed, give them the podium and let them talk. 

In the medical profession they no longer consider cancer a killing disease because if caught early, and for most cancers, and the right person, and perfect conditions, and…you can live a long time.  This is even true for those of us who can’t get rid of cancer and have to go on a ‘for life’ chemo treatment like a diabetic with insulin.  But I hope you noticed that I said if and for and… there are many variables for this to work besides the statement of getting chemo for life.

Trust me, no one really wants to die, some are more ready than others but no one wants to die so when a person ‘gives up’ as some people say, it is because they are tired.  Know that the feeling inside is empty, so please fill it with joy and laughter.  Read books and poems, watch movies together and let them express themselves even if you don’t want to hear what they are saying.  It sucks to fight, remember that we are giving up our daily life as it was, the food we like, our hair, going out, alcohol, events and all this sacrifice can’t be because others wants us around, it needs to be because we want to be here.  Don’t take this the wrong way but it is selfish to ask them to fight and not give up, the best gift is deciding together how you want to spend your time together.  I have another friend that when her mother was diagnosed with cancer and knowing that it would be a matter of time, the mother made a wish list and they both set out to accomplish as many of them as possible.  Her mother recently passed and the memories are precious.

And if you can’t let go, then my suggestion is to buy keys to each others heart, as many as needed to keep the circle of family and friends connected.  I also suggest writing down the most memorable gifts this person has given you, even ask what gift have you given this person…and I am not talking about a material gift but spiritual or emotional. 

We lose something every day (hearing, tooth, pounds); if it is family or friend it is even more painful.  We can’t change the fact that they are gone, what we can change is how we bettered our lives for having had that person around for the time we did.  Please know that I am NOT saying that I will give up (Not yet) or that you should give up, I am saying that if you know someone smart enough to know when is time to stop the fight, respect their decision and join them in their next step so that they don’t have to do it alone. 

And with this, I will end with a ‘may God bless you’ as this topic is so about good wishes, positive energy and faith.

NOTE: if you have lost someone to a debilitating disease and have other suggestions, please feel free to add in the form of comments.

Love y’all,

ME

About Cancer and Chemo

Time to get serious and start some knowledge transfer.  My body handles chemo real well; thanks to Randy (Energy Doktor) I have learned what to eat to counteract the side effects of the chemo.  Unfortunately the chemo shrinks my tumors but does not kill the cancer cells.  My body handled radiation real well too, but Pat and I believe (have no proof) that the radiation actually triggered my cancer to grow even faster…so I will stay away from radiation and the subject all together.  First advice when you or a love one is facing cancer is to ALWAYS get a second opinion because there are lots of treatments out there.  Also get educated, not too much but enough because the doctors know the book side but only YOU know your body.  You and the doctors need to be a team when making decisions.  I know some people who just want the doctors to take charge and make it better…this is CANCER, not a paper cut that you put a band aid and go on with your life.  CANCER is now your life foreverrrrrrr.

Okay, now that you got that much know two other important things, cancer loves sugar and cancer loves misery.  So no alcohol while fighting cancer, no cakes, candies or sodas…I can still here Gayle telling Pat “…and don’t let her have those rum and cokes any more”.

Did I tell you that cancer sucks?  Big time but it does not have to kill you, well not always.

Cancer loves misery, so if you need to cry please do so, cry hard, blow your nose and move on to the next task because the more you are miserable the more I can hear the cancer cells going ‘he, he, he…here I come’.

For the record, today is day 11^th since my last chemo so life is good.  Besides chemo, I am doing alternative medicine to build my immune system so that it can fight the cancer.  I have several friends that are big BIG on alternative and although I can’t do them all at the same time, I have all the instructions and recipes handy.  The first one I will share with you today is the Aloe remedy:

1)     Half a kilo (1.1 pounds) of pure RAW honey.

2)     350 grams (.77 lbs) of Aloe leaves (generally 3 or 4 leaves, depending on their size).  You must cut the thorns but do not peel the skin.

3)     A distillate to preserve the product, only 40 to 50 ml (6-8 teaspoons) is used. It is generally whisky, cognac, tequila or some other pure alcohol.

When made from scratch, this combination is mixed together in a blender.  Then the person must take one spoonful three times a day 15 to 20 minutes before each meal.  Take it 10 days on, 10 days off…for the rest of your life.

 Time for a nap so if you know someone with cancer, give them a hug and a smile they need it…If you have cancer then call upon people so that they can give you a hug and a smile, you need it.  And if by some unforeseen event you need a hug and can’t find one, call me I have loads of hugs hanging around.

Oops, one more thing, just in case that it is true that Hugo Chavez has cancer….please do not share my blog with him…

Love y’all,

ME

Louie's Girls

I was debating on what to write today when I got a message from a long lost friend telling me that they are in Italy, lots of churches (which I hope it means that he is lighting candles but doubt it because he is Jewish) and that the angels do not need me yet and that prompted me to talk about angels.

Thanks to Michelle, I just read a book titled ‘Heaven is for real’ and based on that book, they have plenty of people/angels up there and there is only one of me down here. 

Have you ever thought of yourself as unique?  You should. 

Special?  Most definitely. 

Angel?  Sure, why not!!!

My father use to tell me when I was rejected by a friend (mostly a boy that I really liked) that if he was not smart enough to know how great I was, then he did not deserve a minute (or tear) from me.  I think of these words often and they make me feel great and when I feel great I see great things in people.

So the ‘Louie’s girls’, there is a local Bar and Grill here in Norman that is really close to our house.  The servers and bartenders are all young, beautiful and smart girls.  Pat and I have befriended a number of these young ladies and most of them have graduated, moved to new jobs, even gotten married but a core still hangs around together.  They are there for each other time and time again, and I am honored to say that they are there for me too.  Just a couple of days ago two of them (Kayla & Chelsea) gave me a hug, their smiles so pretty that even though I was not feeling my best, it just brought a smile out and with each smile one cancer cell dies.  One time I was having chemo and one of the Louie’s girls (Amanda) came to sit with me for an hour ‘just because’, another one of the girls (Lauren) who has moved to Texas, calls weekly to see how I am doing, and even another one who I hardly get to see (Jenni) sends me messages of encouragement on my blog.  When my second cancer was diagnosed and I was going to go to MD Anderson in Texas, the girls, managers and Chris, put their money together and bought me beautiful Cosmopolitan glasses, vodka and more to make my stay better…and it did.  Their postings are always funny, remember that they are mid to late 20’s and their view of life is nothing short from wonderful.  I do not need to watch reality shows any more, just reading their facebook postings is entertaining enough…  One day you will have one who is super skinny and pretty talk about going to the gym as if her life depended on it, another one posts every week a dog that needs a home and the name of restaurants that will donate money to ‘second chance’.  You always know where they were last night, who drank a bit much and who saved the day and the best is that when they are needed, there they are ready to help…as they did for Newcastle with the tornado cleanup…

Today I want to tell you that the Louie’s girls are angels on earth, they do not know it and probably won’t believe me but they are.  I also want to tell you that there has to be more of them around so keep your eyes open and when you find them, hang on…they will make your ride through life a fun filled rollercoaster.

NOTE: Please post comments on the website, sign up to Google and then you can post all you want.

Love y’all,

ME

First Blog

As my first blog I should let you know that I have been given an expiration date.  I am starting my third battle with cancer in as many years.  Of course, I am not ready and will fight like hell but the thought prompted me to think…Shshshshs this sucks, what to do, where to go, you can just imagine.  I went to my safety zone and said “Hello up there, God, you and I know there are a lot of things that need to get done down here so ‘Not yet’”.

As my first blog I should also let you know that this is not the only problem my family and I are facing.  Last year (while fighting my second cancer) my son was in an accident and we are still trying to work that problem out…which is big, huge, but it will be up to him if he wants to write about it.  What I can tell you is that I love him more than life and therefore ‘NOT YET’.

As my first blog I should also let you know that my first granddaughter was born this year.  She looked like a porcelain doll, you know why?  Because she was little, so little and almost perfect… and of course she is not perfect there are hiccups, big hiccups, surgery, procedures, future…on and on so if you want to know the details, read my daughter’s blog.  What I can tell you is that I love my granddaughter more than life and therefore ‘NOT YET’.

Are you getting the picture?  Good because it stops here.  Three major ‘GIGANTIC’ painful events all in the span of a year, all in the same family… I actually thought that someone had bewitched my family so I placed ‘Holy ointment’ on every door of my house and every family portrait while praying ‘Michael the Archangel’ prayer to protect us from the ‘devil’.

To finalize my first blog I should also let you know that I have a wonderful husband standing by my side through all this, I also have an amazing daughter who has more faith than I do, a family who supports me and a cast of characters called friends, lots and lots and lots of friends…I am not alone…God would never allow that to happen.

If it is true when they say ‘cancer loves misery’ then don not let me go there.  Do happy things for me, smile, sing, and dance and at the end of the day know that you MADE ME HAPPY and that helped me kill one more cancer cell.

Thanks,

ME

Once upon a time...

Well Hi there, thanks for stopping by my blog.  Since I can’t see you or read your name, there is no way for me to know what you know about the blog or about me so I will tell you a bit ‘here and now’ and then the details will come in the form of blogs. 

The first thing of course is:

Name: Luisa Jones-Parra Keating

Status: Married to Patrick

Children: Michelle and Michael

Granddaughter: Magnolia Love (Maggie)

Age: Old

Brief Description: I am one of SEVEN sisters smacked right in the middle (Number 4).  My mother is Betty from Shawnee, OK and my father Juan from Caracas, Venezuela (50/50).  I was born in Caracas and lived half of my life there, the other half between California, Colorado and now Oklahoma …Where the wind comes… (well you know the song, I can’t sing).

I love my family and I love my angels, I like lots of things and people and I ‘hate’ the word ‘hate’ but I do hate cancer.

That brings me to…

Goal: Helping you help me while helping others.

Scope: As they say ‘The Sky is the limit’.

Process: Write what I want, when I want.  The writing can come as a form of expressing my feelings towards an event, answering a question, giving advice or as I like to call it ‘knowledge transfer’.

NOTE: I am Catholic…stop, don’t go anywhere yet, this is not about religion or God or ‘Hell and damnation’ this is about ‘feeling good’, remember my goal.  The fact that I am Catholic is important because you need to know that I pray every day, I have prayed every day since I was a little girl and in my prayers I thank God for my miracles and ask him for things…”You could be my next request!!!  So stay put”.

Summary: A blog created by a Project Manager who is gray and wants you to live in a rainbow.