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I am starting my third battle with cancer and I would like if you travel with me ...

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Pills

Well Hi there,
I bet you were wondering what happened to me since I have not written in a long time.  Well as usual my life is never dull so shortly after my last post Pat and I came down with a pretty bad cold.  Pat is now over it and I am still coughing to the point of running out of air, needless to say I spend most of my day in my fancy chair sleeping or watching old shows.  Pretty exciting life, that is why when I get a surprise visit like from Linda and Charlie from Colorado, it makes my day (or night) so please feel free to come and see me any time.

There are two subjects I want to talk about today, first is my current condition which is not great, but want you to know that I am still not giving up.  If you could see me you would not recognize me, I truly look like a 70 year old lady, my hair is thinned out and no longer grows so the picture you see of little old ladies in a nursing home where they all have the same haircut? Well that is me now, pretty pathetic.  Also my skin, the treatment causes chemical burn so every part of my body and I mean every part of my body has that wrinkle that you get from too much sun, my underarm, my finger tips, even the bottom of my feet.  It use to itch all the time but I have learned to ignore it for the most part… but the skin, boy it sure looks bad.  So don’t cry for me, I can do that myself… I remembered what Randy told me back in the days when I only had to worry about breast cancer, ‘do yogurt baths’, so I have done a couple and will do another one today.  They are not fun but when you are done, you feel like a brand new person.  You get plain yogurt, a small little one will do for one bathing.  You put it all over your body like if it was lotion, trust me, it is cold so you have to be brave and just do it.  Have the bathtub going with warm to hot water; I know I know, I am not a bathtub person myself but no choice here. Get in the tub and lay down the best you can until the water starts getting cold, then shower and Vuala you are done.
This has helped with regenerating my skin but of course taking the medicine every day does not help with keeping my skin looking young…  The reason why I am telling you this is because anyone can do this to help with their skin, especially in the winter when it gets so dry.

Okay now to the next subject, ‘Pill taking’ you MUST drink at least one glass of water with your pills, regardless of what anyone tells you and the main reason is because you want to flush them down to your stomach and not let them stay in your trachea/esophagus/throat for any length of time.  Medicines are to be processed by your stomach and then distributed through your body like any other food/drink.  It has been known that pills with the cute rubber cover might dissolve in your esophagus and after a while might just open a whole in there.  I am not a pill taking person, well… was not a pill taking person and now take over 15 a day but the ones I take for the treatment must be taken really early with a glass of water and wait and hour, you can imagine me getting up ‘REALLY EARLY’ and then taking a full ‘GLASS OF WATER’ … nah, it was not happening and then I started having problems with my pipes going down and that is when I learned the importance of that FULL glass of water with all my pills.  You know me, I give advice and it is your choice to follow or not… this one I would follow.

Well, this has to be all for now because truth be told, typing with raw fingers that crack open like paper cuts ‘hurts’, maybe next time I will have Michelle do the typing.  For now I want to tell you that Michael’s meeting with the parole office went very well, next court date is March 16th. And for those that are keeping track, our little miracle ‘Miss Maggie’ will be ONE year old this coming Monday… yeah.

Love y’all,
ME

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Live or Die

What Mix emotions!!!  I am saddened that my mother is gone but happy she did not suffer.  And really I have not grieved yet as I think of it as if she was visiting another daughter.  It all happened so fast and then all the sisters and people and then all gone… puff, now what?

Ligia and I did what we know best, yesterday Pat made us appetizer/dinner and we had a happy hour together…  Today will be another day.

So here is the thing, where I also have mix emotions.  Mom in reality died because of cancer.  When she was diagnosed just a few months ago, she did not want to go through what I was going through and said no treatment.  Her cancer was less than 1 cm and we all agreed and joked that she would probably die of old age, heart or whatever before that little bit of cancer would get to her.  Did anyone tell us that it was located in a dangers airwave?  No. All along we knew (or thought we knew) that I was to go before Mom.  That thought really bothered her and she said to me many times, I do not want to burry a daughter; as well as many times in the past few years she would say, I am not afraid of dying, I have lived a wonderful life and I am ready to go any time.  So is my will to live keeping me alive and her will to die took her?  Can you really decide when to live and when to die?  My God, if there is any truth to this, please know that I have many things undone and will need another… let’s say 20 years to finish what I started.  Deal?

PS. I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you my friends who have called, sent cards and messages of condolences.  Mom was greater than life and like Michelle said, this is the end of a Dynasty and we are so blessed to have been a part of it.

Love y’all,
ME