What Mix emotions!!! I am saddened that my mother is gone but happy she did not suffer. And really I have not grieved yet as I think of it as if she was visiting another daughter. It all happened so fast and then all the sisters and people and then all gone… puff, now what?
Ligia and I did what we know best, yesterday Pat made us appetizer/dinner and we had a happy hour together… Today will be another day.
So here is the thing, where I also have mix emotions. Mom in reality died because of cancer. When she was diagnosed just a few months ago, she did not want to go through what I was going through and said no treatment. Her cancer was less than 1 cm and we all agreed and joked that she would probably die of old age, heart or whatever before that little bit of cancer would get to her. Did anyone tell us that it was located in a dangers airwave? No. All along we knew (or thought we knew) that I was to go before Mom. That thought really bothered her and she said to me many times, I do not want to burry a daughter; as well as many times in the past few years she would say, I am not afraid of dying, I have lived a wonderful life and I am ready to go any time. So is my will to live keeping me alive and her will to die took her? Can you really decide when to live and when to die? My God, if there is any truth to this, please know that I have many things undone and will need another… let’s say 20 years to finish what I started. Deal?
PS. I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you my friends who have called, sent cards and messages of condolences. Mom was greater than life and like Michelle said, this is the end of a Dynasty and we are so blessed to have been a part of it.
Love y’all,
ME
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