I love visitors

I have not been able to go anywhere except for doctors since New Year’s Eve and of course my Mom’s funeral.  So my joy is when I get visitors, even if it is only for a few minutes.

Our dear friends Charlie and Linda stop by as a surprise again and stayed with us one night, short but I’ll take it.  My dear friend Lynne Poppe, who I have not seen in a long time, came to stay with us a few days, I was too sick to really enjoy the company but was glad she was here to keep Pat company.  My sister Betina got tired of me turning down dates to meet for lunch that her and Ricky decided to buy lunch and bring it over, now that was clever.

The other day Gayle and Vel Dimery came for an hour or so and brought us some movies to see and vanilla shake, nice… very nice.  Earlier in the year Katy Wakeham and Rhonda Lundberg came for one night and it was like girls sleep over since the guys were out in California.  Just a few days ago Katy, Dirk and Connor stopped by for dinner as they were doing the college tour, it was nice to have a relaxing evening.  Oops almost forgot to mention that my sisters Leslie and Delia came to visit on their way to Colorado and they stayed and extra day just to spend it with me.  Plus my dear local friends Diana and Maureen who came to visit and we just had some nice conversation.  Life is good.

And of course Michelle brings Maggie over 2 or 3 times a week which makes me so very happy and my dear sister Ligia comes over for a bit every day.

So you see, I love visitors since I can’t go to you, please come to me, and if you can’t then go visit someone that is sick and bored and tell them I sent you.

This week is a big week in court for Michael because is when the judge makes a decision on the charges and of course I want them to agree that this was a terrible accident but not a felony so loads of prayers and good vibes are needed… and if you are in southern California on Friday morning and do not have much to do, they could use your presence in court for moral support.

Love y’all,

Me

It has been a while

Sorry but I have not been feeling well lately and this is the first time in over a week that I have made it into the office and seating by the computer.

The good news is that my dear friend Lynne Poppe just came to visit for about 5 days and it was a joy to see her after so long.

The sad news is that I have been pulled off the trial again as the chemical has created an internal burn that is surfacing through my skin.  I am burned and peeling from every inch of my body and I mean my lips, ears, palm of my hands, bottom of my feet, my rear end and all.  The yogurt baths helped but were not able to keep up with the fire so now I am off the meds and putting on cream all over so we will see what the end result will be.  What I can say right now is that this is terrible, not only it hurts every time I move and my skin touches a surface but it takes almost an hour to wash off the peeling and put on the cream, and that is about all the energy I have on a daily basis.

But not wanting to just share bad news and end in a sad note, Michelle gave Maggie her First Birthday party here on Sunday, February 26^th and it was fantastic.  She did all the decorations, and gifts and oh it was just beautiful and every baby and there were lots, behaved and all had loads of fun.  So my miracle grandbaby is now ONE year old. 

Love y’all,

ME

Pills

Well Hi there,

I bet you were wondering what happened to me since I have not written in a long time.  Well as usual my life is never dull so shortly after my last post Pat and I came down with a pretty bad cold.  Pat is now over it and I am still coughing to the point of running out of air, needless to say I spend most of my day in my fancy chair sleeping or watching old shows.  Pretty exciting life, that is why when I get a surprise visit like from Linda and Charlie from Colorado, it makes my day (or night) so please feel free to come and see me any time.

There are two subjects I want to talk about today, first is my current condition which is not great, but want you to know that I am still not giving up.  If you could see me you would not recognize me, I truly look like a 70 year old lady, my hair is thinned out and no longer grows so the picture you see of little old ladies in a nursing home where they all have the same haircut? Well that is me now, pretty pathetic.  Also my skin, the treatment causes chemical burn so every part of my body and I mean every part of my body has that wrinkle that you get from too much sun, my underarm, my finger tips, even the bottom of my feet.  It use to itch all the time but I have learned to ignore it for the most part… but the skin, boy it sure looks bad.  So don’t cry for me, I can do that myself… I remembered what Randy told me back in the days when I only had to worry about breast cancer, ‘do yogurt baths’, so I have done a couple and will do another one today.  They are not fun but when you are done, you feel like a brand new person.  You get plain yogurt, a small little one will do for one bathing.  You put it all over your body like if it was lotion, trust me, it is cold so you have to be brave and just do it.  Have the bathtub going with warm to hot water; I know I know, I am not a bathtub person myself but no choice here. Get in the tub and lay down the best you can until the water starts getting cold, then shower and Vuala you are done.

This has helped with regenerating my skin but of course taking the medicine every day does not help with keeping my skin looking young…  The reason why I am telling you this is because anyone can do this to help with their skin, especially in the winter when it gets so dry.

Okay now to the next subject, ‘Pill taking’ you MUST drink at least one glass of water with your pills, regardless of what anyone tells you and the main reason is because you want to flush them down to your stomach and not let them stay in your trachea/esophagus/throat for any length of time.  Medicines are to be processed by your stomach and then distributed through your body like any other food/drink.  It has been known that pills with the cute rubber cover might dissolve in your esophagus and after a while might just open a whole in there.  I am not a pill taking person, well… was not a pill taking person and now take over 15 a day but the ones I take for the treatment must be taken really early with a glass of water and wait and hour, you can imagine me getting up ‘REALLY EARLY’ and then taking a full ‘GLASS OF WATER’ … nah, it was not happening and then I started having problems with my pipes going down and that is when I learned the importance of that FULL glass of water with all my pills.  You know me, I give advice and it is your choice to follow or not… this one I would follow.

Well, this has to be all for now because truth be told, typing with raw fingers that crack open like paper cuts ‘hurts’, maybe next time I will have Michelle do the typing.  For now I want to tell you that Michael’s meeting with the parole office went very well, next court date is March 16^th. And for those that are keeping track, our little miracle ‘Miss Maggie’ will be ONE year old this coming Monday… yeah.

Love y’all,

ME

Live or Die

What Mix emotions!!!  I am saddened that my mother is gone but happy she did not suffer.  And really I have not grieved yet as I think of it as if she was visiting another daughter.  It all happened so fast and then all the sisters and people and then all gone… puff, now what?

Ligia and I did what we know best, yesterday Pat made us appetizer/dinner and we had a happy hour together…  Today will be another day.

So here is the thing, where I also have mix emotions.  Mom in reality died because of cancer.  When she was diagnosed just a few months ago, she did not want to go through what I was going through and said no treatment.  Her cancer was less than 1 cm and we all agreed and joked that she would probably die of old age, heart or whatever before that little bit of cancer would get to her.  Did anyone tell us that it was located in a dangers airwave?  No. All along we knew (or thought we knew) that I was to go before Mom.  That thought really bothered her and she said to me many times, I do not want to burry a daughter; as well as many times in the past few years she would say, I am not afraid of dying, I have lived a wonderful life and I am ready to go any time.  So is my will to live keeping me alive and her will to die took her?  Can you really decide when to live and when to die?  My God, if there is any truth to this, please know that I have many things undone and will need another… let’s say 20 years to finish what I started.  Deal?

PS. I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you my friends who have called, sent cards and messages of condolences.  Mom was greater than life and like Michelle said, this is the end of a Dynasty and we are so blessed to have been a part of it.

Love y’all,

ME

Did you know Betty?

If you didn’t meet her you missed out as she was one of the most amazing, unique, entertaining, awesome, happy…   I can go on and on.

Betty was my mother and the mother of my 6 other sisters plus the grandmother of 9 grandchildren and the great grandmother of Maggie the Great.
She had an amazing life, so for her services I wrote the following poem:

MOM

What an incredible mixed of emotions

Sad to see you go
Glad that you got there
Are you Happy Mom?

You lived life to the fullest

You laughed hard at it all
You loved us more than life
What a woman, you were wise

Mom you were awesome

To have had three lives on earth
Who else can claim such victory
But you…. who did it all

As a child you were mischievous  

You were poor and didn’t even know it
You were happy, you were fun
You just wanted to play under the sun 

As a mother you were great

Seven daughters, what can I say
You weren’t the kissing and hugging kind
You were the proud and LOVING one

As a widow, that was hard

You missed Daddy and it was tough
But you lived through it with us,
With a smile and party time

So now is time to say goodbye

Boy it hurts, I’ll miss you lots
You were awesome you were great
You will always be the best

Yesterday we celebrated her life, we have actually been celebrating her life since the night she died and will probably continue to celebrate for a very long time.

We will miss you…   Love you forever.

ME

PS. My test at MDAnderson shows that I am responding to treatment, although the cancer did not shrink, it did not grow either.  So for now, I will continue with the treatment and pray.

A New Day

So here we are and it is a new day, duh each day is a new day, as you can tell by my tone that I am feeling a lot better.  I am still sleeping a lot and my skin is a mess and a few things here and there but for the most part I am ready to continue the fight. Thanks to Randy who was here giving me energy and pocking and whatever he does to have my pains go away or to the side. 

To pick up where we left off –

My liver enzymes were better so I resumed treatment at a lesser dosage. This week I go back to Houston for standard testing plus the CT scan that will tell if the trial is working for me.  I pray that it is as I am running out of options, although they said last time that they have a plan B.

The court hearing for Michael went well but of course no answers or light when this will all be over but for now he has a meeting with probation on Feb. 21^st and next court hearing is March 16^th.

And my Mom, she is doing better today, one day better at a time is all we can ask… although I would love for her to get her sense of humor back…  I miss that.

Attitude will make you or brake you.  I have told my children for ever that a good attitude, a smile, dressing up and looking pretty or smelling good makes you feel good, and when you feel good you attracted happy people.  When you are down, the best remedy is to surround yourself with happy people, I know I know you don’t feel like it but that is because you are down so force yourself to ‘exercise’ and then go out and find happy people. Remember ‘Attitude’, something that you can control…  NICE

Wishing you, my family and I a Happy New Day,

ME

Accident

Can you remember 26? I can because that was the year that I was in loved.  I had found the man of my dreams which I married.  Life was good.

Well today my son Michael turns 26 and he can’t even plan what he will be doing this weekend, it is very sad.  As you all may know, he was in a car accident where his dear friend Mai died.  They had been out to comedy night and celebrating that Mai was leaving for Japan in just a couple of days.  That was Michael’s dream at the time, graduate with a Japanese degree and go to Japan to teach English. He had only one semester left, four classes.

This happened over 18 months ago and his fate is still in the hands of the California judicial system.  You see, in California they do not use the word accident so they have to make sure that he is guilty of something, and while they try to sort this out his life is on hold.  Some people would say, so what, Mai’s life stopped and that is true and it is also true that we can’t change that, that there is nothing that Michael can possibly do to bring back Mai.  We lost a life but does it make sense that the punishment be to destroy another life?   For how long?  How many more lives have to suffer?  I can tell you that Michael has as well as me, his father and sister and really all our family.

So here is what is even more painful, I have terminal cancer and my only wish left is to see my son free.  At one time I thought that I wanted to go to the beach for 3 months, I also hoped to go to Venezuela once more and see my old classmates and friends but none of that matter until this is resolved.

I would love nothing more than for the judicial system to accept that this was an accident and let my son go.

For now, I pray, we pray.  Today I say Happy Birthday son, my birthday wish for you is that this year is better.  And ask for you to pray or think positive thoughts for this Friday, January 13^th when Michael goes to court once again to request the reduction of the charges, just one step closer to ending this nightmare.

Thanks you,

ME