Dying from cancer

This year alone I know of five people who have died of cancer.  I also know a few that might not make it to the end of the year.  Of course I am in tune with cancer death because of my condition but my guess is that the message today is the same if you have heart problems or diabetes or other immune diseases that debilitates a person until death.  A pet peeve I have is when you are first diagnosed and people say ‘Oh I know so and so and they lived 20 years’ or ‘I know so and so…’ let me tell, we don’t care who you know or what you know because today and now ‘I have cancer’.  This also applies to friends and families, when my friend’s mother was diagnosed; she (the daughter) was very upset and she didn’t care who else had it ‘her mom had cancer’.  So next time you meet someone who has been diagnosed with cancer or a family member was diagnosed, give them the podium and let them talk. 

In the medical profession they no longer consider cancer a killing disease because if caught early, and for most cancers, and the right person, and perfect conditions, and…you can live a long time.  This is even true for those of us who can’t get rid of cancer and have to go on a ‘for life’ chemo treatment like a diabetic with insulin.  But I hope you noticed that I said if and for and… there are many variables for this to work besides the statement of getting chemo for life.

Trust me, no one really wants to die, some are more ready than others but no one wants to die so when a person ‘gives up’ as some people say, it is because they are tired.  Know that the feeling inside is empty, so please fill it with joy and laughter.  Read books and poems, watch movies together and let them express themselves even if you don’t want to hear what they are saying.  It sucks to fight, remember that we are giving up our daily life as it was, the food we like, our hair, going out, alcohol, events and all this sacrifice can’t be because others wants us around, it needs to be because we want to be here.  Don’t take this the wrong way but it is selfish to ask them to fight and not give up, the best gift is deciding together how you want to spend your time together.  I have another friend that when her mother was diagnosed with cancer and knowing that it would be a matter of time, the mother made a wish list and they both set out to accomplish as many of them as possible.  Her mother recently passed and the memories are precious.

And if you can’t let go, then my suggestion is to buy keys to each others heart, as many as needed to keep the circle of family and friends connected.  I also suggest writing down the most memorable gifts this person has given you, even ask what gift have you given this person…and I am not talking about a material gift but spiritual or emotional. 

We lose something every day (hearing, tooth, pounds); if it is family or friend it is even more painful.  We can’t change the fact that they are gone, what we can change is how we bettered our lives for having had that person around for the time we did.  Please know that I am NOT saying that I will give up (Not yet) or that you should give up, I am saying that if you know someone smart enough to know when is time to stop the fight, respect their decision and join them in their next step so that they don’t have to do it alone. 

And with this, I will end with a ‘may God bless you’ as this topic is so about good wishes, positive energy and faith.

NOTE: if you have lost someone to a debilitating disease and have other suggestions, please feel free to add in the form of comments.

Love y’all,

ME